Please excuse the rambling:
Recently, my body wants to paint and write poetry and creative non-fiction. It does not want to play nicely with books and classes and teaching. It wants to spend late nights agonizing over words and words that come from me and nowhere else.
My biggest struggle this Spring semester has been to come to grips with the fact that it is okay to not “produce” in the way that is the most economically expedient to me. I do not have the energy to spend all of my time with my students and nineteenth century books and that is okay. I am dealing with marrying what I refer to as “the two selves.” For me, that is the “academic” self and the “creative” self. The reality is that these two selves are not really all that different. I cannot do one without the other. And so, feeding the self that is hungry (that is, my creative self) is the best thing that I can do for me right now.