Inadequacy

It’s really difficult to find something to say when everything feels so important. How do you write about the internal processes of working through the publishing industry when it feels as though the world around you is falling apart?

The truth is, it is all important. Literature and writing, in all of its forms, is still a primary means through which we share our humanity with each other– and  I think we all need a little more humanity right now. So, in light of that, I want to share a major drawback that I face working through this process of pursuing my own writing.

I have only recently started to hit the ground running with publishing. I wrote a novella (fiction) and poetry chapbook this summer and have been working on getting individual pieces into the ether of online and print lit pubs. I have, thankfully, been pretty successful immediately– a feat, which, I must admit, feels a little like someone has shot me with the luck arrow. But there are still these core issues that I struggle with each time I send a child in to be judged by a magazine:

The feeling of inadequacy: No matter what. No matter how long I have worked on a poem or short story, no matter how many acceptances, I still feel as though I am a fraud. That this was all an accident. From perusing the internet, I understand that this is a normal phenom for writers. I hate it, would like to uninstall it, but *shrugs shoulders* oh, well. I am not sharing this because I have any particular solution. This isn’t an inspiration blog. More just to tell you that you are not alone and that the voice in your head that is telling you that you are not good enough is not real.

We are all just floating around in space, trying to find meaning. It’s easy to get weighed down thinking that you should be doing XYZ right now. You know, by that or by the massive typewriter that you’ve been carrying around to make yourself feel legit. You are legit. You did the thing. You are doing the thing! Keep going!

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